I also love tacky things...you know...stuff from years back that make my mother go "ewww", I think are fascinating. Give me pink metal patio furniture, avacado green appliances, and fake wood paneling and I'm a happy girl.
The final part to this puzzle is...my daughter not only has my personality but also likes nice things. We can't afford nice things...heck, I can't charge nice things anymore. So, when talk came around about what kind of vehicle she'd loooove to have when she gets her license I heard lots of "it has to be blue"..."I want a convertible"..."I want a blue bug convertible". What hubby and I heard was "I want the tackiest vehicle you can find and please spare expense!!" So, our quest to find her a ridiculous first car started.
Granted...let me warn you that we can't afford a car for her right now...in fact, most of what we thought were hideous cars have turned into collectibles and are way out of our $1 price range...but still, when we see one we yell out "Cassie car!". Also, you may find in my postings completely unsafe vehicles...please note that we are not looking to get rid of her and would not buy her something we think might be dangerous. But remember, some of these (potentially recalled) vehicles were someone's first vehicle!
First Vehicle: 1978/79 Ford Ranchero
Now, let me just say something about my passion for cars...I HATE Ford Rancheros. Come to think of it I HATE El Caminos too. Something about the whole "it's a car! No wait! It's a truck! No wait! I can't decide!" that shall bother me until the end of time. I wouldn't mind...but people don't feel the same way about me because these (cough) vehicles were made for many, many years...and people bought them!
What? A Cadillac El Camino? **bangs head on desk** What is wrong with you people?!? Is nothing sacred?!? Why don't we just make hearse El Caminos too!! For when your special someone wants to take their last drive with the wind in their hair.
And dear Lord nothing makes me want to put a gun barrel in my mouth more than when someone puts a truck cap on the bed! Seriously...do you tow your home too??
Anyway, the reason I picked this particular Ford Ranchero is because...well...it's freakin' huge!! Look at the size of this thing!! I think you can fit 15 people it in...and that's just the bench seat...let alone the truck...err, car bed.
Picture it...your driving along...Boston's self-titled debut playing in your 8-track stereo...you crest a hill on a back country road...onlookers check out your sweet Ford LTD...and oh snap, it ain't an LTD...it's got a truck bed! Fooled you!! Outta my way while I go pick up my new goldenrod Kenmore appliances that I can fit...in my car bed!!
Check out that sweet, sweet mustache...kind of reminds me of Burt Reynolds. But Burt had a cooler car...way cooler.
Ugh...anyway. The impracticalities of this vehicle for Cassie are a-plenty. First of all...it's a V-8. Not only too powerful for a first time driver but at almost $4 a gallon for gas, not a smart choice for someone who would work strictly for gas to fill it. Also, limited cab space...I know, unless you put that handy, dandy truck cap on it to keep all your perishables dry...puke. No, it seats 3 (okay more...but 3 with seatbelts), which in teen girl talk means you and your posse cannot go hang at the mall because you can't fit your other 2 friends in the car with you. You laugh...I wanted a Fiero and my dad said "no you don't because you can't fit your friends in the car with you"...so he got me a Nissan Pulsar. Good forward thinking too since a year later I'd need the back seat for a car seat.
So in conclusion...I give you the car/truck Ford Ranchero...so ugly that deep down I kind of like it...but not enough to buy the matching truck cap!
